Hot Fudge Sundaes

I've had a touch of writer's block lately - obviously. I've been digging around in my mind, trying to figure out what it is I want to do with this blog. The two blog carnivals I participate in have new hosts, which is totally no big deal really, but it's making me wonder if I want to try something new. I'm not sure yet!

One thing I do know for sure is that I want to get back to writing more about my family and the day to day stuff. This blog was starting to be about frugality more than anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that at all, but there really is so much more to my life than that!

Ok, anyway, I want to write about what I did tonight. Many of my readers already know this, but in case you don't, you should know about my grandmother. She's 86 years old, and she's very close to the end of this life here on earth. She's wonderful. She currently lives in a nursing home where she's being cared for and kept as comfortable as possible. You see, she has cancer in her liver, lungs, and bones. They're quite sure there's more, but she's opted out of any more testing/treatment. We all know that there's just not much time left with her.

This is the second time I've come back to MO since we got her diagnosis. I got to spend a great deal of time with her a few weeks ago, but I felt like I left with something "undone". I couldn't decide what it was. I wrote her a long letter, we talked, hugged, etc., but I just had a feeling that I was forgetting to do something.

I took the kiddos up to see her this morning, which was great, but obviously a very brief visit. I was going to try to go up tomorrow by myself, but ended up going tonight after the babies were in bed. As we were talking, the nurse assistant came in to get her ready for bed. I went behind the curtain and waited on the other side. We were still chatting, and then it "hit me". I realized that this very well could be the last time I see my grandma. What are you supposed to do in this situation? I've never really known ahead of time that someone was going to die very soon. I've been at a loss. I didn't want to start bawling, so I was praying really hard for some sort of direction. I didn't want to look back and wish I would have done something different.

I asked her if she still ate dessert. Weird, huh? The thing is, when my sister and I were growing up, we went to DQ with them all the time. Anyway, she said "All I can get, why?". I said "Great, what do you want? I could go for a treat, too." (Since I'm on a diet and all) She said that she would love a hot fudge sundae from Braum's. Oh- one more thing. My grandma was always very in control of her figure, and hot fudge sundaes were a rare treat, and even then, she only ate about half. So.....

Fifteen minutes later, she was in her nightgown devouring her entire double dip hot fudge sundae, and I was sitting next to her eating my low-fat Reese's Cup (extra cups) mix. It was great. It was the best time ever, as a matter of fact. When I walked out, I had a much better feeling.

I don't know if I'll see my grandma again, but if I don't, I'll know that we shared some ice cream together - one more time. And it was my favorite ice cream ever.